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HOUSE M.D. FIC: To Boldly Go

Title: To Boldly Go
Fandom:
House M.D.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 409
Summary: House and Wilson role-play Star Trek. Cracktastic PWP.
Disclaimer: House et al. are owned by Shore et al., not me.
Author's Note:
 Written for pgrabia  out of a shared enjoyment of ST:TOS jokes.

 

“You’re a Trekkie,” House says apropos of absolutely nothing one afternoon as he and Wilson are grappling with each other’s clothes on the slippery leather of his lumpy couch.

“Trekker,” Wilson corrects him automatically, to which House rolls his eyes.

“A dork by any other name would smell as sweet.”

“What’s your point,” Wilson grunts, yanking House’s t-shirt out of the waistband of his jeans.

House grabs Wilson’s wrists to still them and gives him a long, appraising look. His mouth crooks in a grin. “Ever play Star Trek when you were a kid?”

“Sure.”

House’s grin widens. “Wanna play now?”

Wilson lets go and leans back into the couch cushions to consider this, wondering whether there’s a catch. “I’m assuming you’re Kirk. ‘Beam me up Scotty, there’s no intelligent life down here.’”

“Nope,” House says, suddenly solemn. “You’re Kirk, I’m Spock.”

“You’re letting me be Kirk?” Wilson’s voice rises half an octave in surprise.

House raises an eyebrow. “I’ll have you know that Nimoy got twice as much fan mail. Chicks dig a challenge.”

“I thought maybe it was because I’m in charge of this relationship,” Wilson deadpans.

“Actually,” House tilts his head back and addresses the ceiling, “it’s because Kirk was a self-important douchebag who spent half his time trying to get into the pants of every woman he met and the other half offering unsolicited advice on how people on other planets should run their lives.”

Wilson tries to glare, but dissolving into a snort ruins the effect. “Wait a minute. Shouldn’t you be Doctor McCoy with the baby blues and the cantankerous ‘tude?”

“Wrong again. Cuddy’s already got that part down. Listen.” House reaches across Wilson’s lap, ‘accidentally’ grazing his crotch with his elbow, and replays his answering machine messages.

“House, are you out of your fucking mind? Did you really think that I was going to approve-” Cuddy’s voice bleats before the object of her ire punches “delete.”

“Point made,” Wilson concedes, nuzzling behind House’s ear and pulling the other man’s hand firmly down onto the bulge in his slacks. “Now get back down here and use your Vulcan Death Grip.”

For a moment he’s sure that House is going to retort that there’s no such thing as a Vulcan Death Grip, but then the older man unzips his fly, voice husky in his ear: “Is that an order… Captain?

“Warp speed,” Wilson gasps as House’s warm hand makes first contact with his cock.

 

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
jezziejay
Apr. 26th, 2011 03:48 pm (UTC)
A little hot role-play between House and Wilson is always a good thing...and this is awesome!!!! “A dork by any other name would smell as sweet.” Only House could throw a little Shakespeare into Star Trek RP. And logic. I especially love how it all goes from being very silly to very hot in the closing lines. The last line is FANTASTIC. Very nice :)
flywoman
Apr. 26th, 2011 08:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much! I don't write much silly PWP, but this was fun. And for once the last line, at least as it stands, really did come to me last!
doctorpancakes
Apr. 26th, 2011 04:45 pm (UTC)
DUDE, I AM GRINNING SO HARD I THINK MY FACE IS GOING TO FALL OFF.

<33333333333333
flywoman
Apr. 26th, 2011 08:48 pm (UTC)
LOL, I'm glad you enjoyed it - this was fun to write!
(Anonymous)
Apr. 27th, 2011 05:13 am (UTC)
Why would you stop there? :o Nicely done though :)
I love trek, mostly Spock though he's sexy as hell. House and Wilson are still hotter.
I remember from english class learning that "to boldly go" is grammatically incorrect, and it should be "to go boldly" which doesn't sound nearly as cool. I wonder what Spock would think.
flywoman
Apr. 27th, 2011 10:55 am (UTC)
i>Why would you stop there?</i>
LOL. I liked the last line too much to add anything.

"to boldly go" is grammatically incorrect
Yes - it's called a split infinitive. But so often it sounds better to say things this way. And I guess Spock is okay with it because he uses it too when he does the voiceover for one of the movies - I think it's at the end of Wrath of Khan?

I am such a geek :P.

Thanks very much for commenting!
chocolate_frapp
Apr. 27th, 2011 06:15 am (UTC)
OF COURSE House identifies with Spock.
flywoman
Apr. 27th, 2011 11:20 am (UTC)
Yes. Yes, he does.

Thanks for reading and commenting!
sara_tsuzuki
Apr. 27th, 2011 11:52 pm (UTC)
LOL!!! Fantastic! Love that "War speed" phrase XDDDDD
flywoman
Apr. 28th, 2011 02:01 am (UTC)
Thanks, I really like that last line, too!
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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