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Fun Drabble-matic is fun!

Ganked this from alternatealto . You can make your own crack!fic here.

The Miracle Of The Moose


Wilson hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a long walk in the rain with no umbrella. He loathed it.

Every December, Wilson would feel himself getting all slender inside. He refused to put up a Christmas cane, he snapped at anyone enraged enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Wilson had to go to the mall to buy an exhausted chestnut. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing vehemently around and so much Christmas music blaring softly, he thought his nape would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a raspy man collecting for charity. Wilson never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the raspy man dropped his bells and ran at the urinal. There was a shuttered moose right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the raspy man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Wilson rushed out and sarcastically pushed them both out of the way. There was a shameless bang and then everything went dark.

When Wilson woke up, he was in a tumescent room. There was a Christmas cane in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Wilson's nipple hurt. A lot.

The raspy man came into the room. "I'm so brilliant!" he said. "You're awake. My name is House. You saved me from the truck. But your nipple is broken."

Wilson hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas cane up and his nipple was broken, he felt quite sweaty, especially when he looked at House.

"Your nipple must hurt wryly," House said. "I think this will help." And he slapped Wilson several times.

Now Wilson felt very sweaty indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved House. "I love you," he said, and kissed House ravenously.

"I love you too," said House. Just then, the moose ran into the room and nuzzled Wilson's earlobe. "I brought him home with us," House said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Wilson said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
alternatealto
Mar. 26th, 2011 09:05 pm (UTC)
I can see this thing being the end of fanfic, if only because all the writers are so busy playing with it that we don't get any actual writing done . . .
flywoman
Mar. 26th, 2011 09:10 pm (UTC)
No fear - I am writing an entry for the Everybody Lies! challenge as we speak.
jezziejay
Mar. 26th, 2011 09:49 pm (UTC)
Hah! I've just given this a go. It's hilarious.

Your nipple must hurt wryly," House said. "I think this will help." And he slapped Wilson several times. Hee:) Serious lollage!
flywoman
Mar. 26th, 2011 10:00 pm (UTC)
I know, right?? I also love that House describes himself as brilliant and that Wilson feels sweaty when he looks at House.
lifes_own_light
Mar. 27th, 2011 12:55 am (UTC)
LOL! I think my favorite part of yours was the Christmas moose. Makes me think of Moose on a Jew. Hee! I ended up with the Christmas one while playing with the Drabble-matic. My protagonist was House, his balls nearly exploded from Christmas music and shoppers. Wilson proclaimed himself fat, and an alligator was adopted.

flywoman
Mar. 27th, 2011 01:03 am (UTC)
Yes, I just watched the ep with Moose on a Jew - it was just a coincidence that I happened to get the Christmas template, pretty awesome!

House is, of course, much more appropriate as the holiday-hating protagonist.
petitecuriosity
Mar. 27th, 2011 06:09 am (UTC)
Oh this is great. :)

"Your nipple must hurt wryly," House said. And he slapped Wilson several times.

LOL. I love the fact that Wilson gets sweaty when seeing House and that the slapping made him sweatier.

I want to make one of these now....lol
flywoman
Mar. 27th, 2011 10:45 am (UTC)
I would say thank you except that I didn't really do all that much! They are pretty funny, though, aren't they? I used to love Mad-Libs as a kid.
justjuly4
Mar. 27th, 2011 05:47 pm (UTC)
Oh, this drabble-matic game is fun! I've tried House/Thirteen and got a Valentine Day themed crack!fic.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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